


Friday Looks Black in the Moonlight

by victorine



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Blatant consumerism is not his jam, Dialogue-Only, Hannigram - Freeform, He's pretty much ok with cannibalism these days though, M/M, Murder Husbands, They're in the UK, Will does not like Black Friday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victorine/pseuds/victorine
Summary: Will is horrified to discover that Black Friday happens in Britain too and Hannibal gets an unexpected treat.





	

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I thought we left this shit behind in the states.”

“To what shit are you referring, mylimasis?”

“Black fucking Friday, obviously.”

“Ah. Perhaps not the best day for you to join me grocery shopping, my darling.”

“I don't… you know I don’t like to be separated for too… anyway, don’t change the subject. They don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving on this dismal little island!”

“Mmm, well, the British have always been given to absorbing different cultures into their own. The adoption of American practices is hardly surprising, particularly with the prospect of profit to be made.”

“Don’t know why you had to drag us over here for the winter anyway. They have an extradition treaty, you know.”

“I do believe it was you who objected to spending Christmas in the Cuban climate. I seem to recall something about wearing shorts in December being ‘fucking unnatural.’”

“Well after a month of drizzle and fog, I’m beginning to reassess the validity of your suggestion that I just remove the shorts altogether.”

“Mmm. I was very disappointed that you did not take me up on that.”

“Hannibal… _Hannibal_ … I am being pissed off about fucking lunatic shoppers right now, I’m not in the mood to be groped.”

“The disappointments are mounting up around me.”

“Shut up. Alright, fine, you can put your hand back where it was, just don’t actively feel me up, ok?”

“I suppose compromise is an important part of any relationship.”

“Only took you seven years to learn it.”

“I would argue two and a half.”

“Whatever. Oh, would you look at that?”

“You are referring to the woman who just used her baby stroller to cut a swathe through her fellow shoppers?”

“No, I… wait, really?”

“Quite impressive, really, in a horrifying sort of way.”

“If you say so. But no, I was looking at the pair having an actual punch-up over the last iPhone in the place.”

“Oh yes. Very sloppy technique by both of them, I must say.”

“Hardly the point, love.”

“Indeed. Such behaviour is terribly rude. They would make rather better appetisers than prize fighters.”

“…”

“Will? Darling? It was merely a joke, I would not… I have never broken my promise…”

“Shut up, I’m thinking.”

“…”

“…”

“Will?”

“Ok.”

“Ok… what?”

“Ok, for one day, and one day only, here is your special offer. I rescind all guidelines regarding what constitutes an acceptable target. Today, the rude are up for grabs.”

“… _Will_.”

“Happy Black Friday, love. Let’s go shopping.”  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments make life worth living, I'd love it if you left one <3 Or come flail with me on [tumblr](http://victorineb.tumblr.com/).


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